今天只做一件事，
想你~~~
:D
寂寞是临睡的习惯
习惯是一个人守着
冰冷的床和烟灰缸
没有你的孤单
想你在这样的夜晚
打开窗吹着冷风
故意把灯关上
试着想像你笑的模样
不懂我的爱在你生命中
占据多少份量
让你哭泣却是我心深处最痛的伤
最残酷的惩罚
i will never try to break your heart
我不愿这样
让爱情不由自主
陷入一场
两败俱伤的战
i will never try to break your heart
我真的不想
再面对没有你的寂寞夜晚
烟雾迷茫的孤单
31.7.09
29.7.09
Experiences
I read some of my old posts,
and I am amazed by myself (in a good way),
I seriously can't understand nor remember how could I write those posts!
I mean I am so surprise with the words I used,
and those words actually contributed to quite some number of meaningful posts!
We just need experience in order to write meaningful posts!
and I am amazed by myself (in a good way),
I seriously can't understand nor remember how could I write those posts!
I mean I am so surprise with the words I used,
and those words actually contributed to quite some number of meaningful posts!
We just need experience in order to write meaningful posts!
25.7.09
superman forever
So happen I was talking with my dad something about the insurance,
and dad started a conversation about what I should remember about the insurance, investment...etc next time when he is not here.
I feel a little reluctant to talk about this with dad,
it is like he is going to leave us forever.
I mean we know he can't be with us forever,
but this is not the time yet,
he is still very much needed.
I know dad started to prepare everything for us since the day we were born,
although people used to laugh at him (saying how silly he was to prepare everything for us since the first day we are born),
that didn't stop him,
he just do whatever he thinks is good for us,
and indeed,
he is always right!
Dad's preparations make us think that it is enough to have him,
we could just have our hands off!
With such a great dad,
I have very high standard in judging men,
and that is one of the reasons why I claim myself to be satu orang oriented.
and dad started a conversation about what I should remember about the insurance, investment...etc next time when he is not here.
I feel a little reluctant to talk about this with dad,
it is like he is going to leave us forever.
I mean we know he can't be with us forever,
but this is not the time yet,
he is still very much needed.
I know dad started to prepare everything for us since the day we were born,
although people used to laugh at him (saying how silly he was to prepare everything for us since the first day we are born),
that didn't stop him,
he just do whatever he thinks is good for us,
and indeed,
he is always right!
Dad's preparations make us think that it is enough to have him,
we could just have our hands off!
With such a great dad,
I have very high standard in judging men,
and that is one of the reasons why I claim myself to be satu orang oriented.
23.7.09
Another Day
Lie to me, say that you need me
That's what I wanna hear
That is what, what makes me happy
Hoping you'll be near
All this time, how could I know
Within these walls, I can feel you
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love
You must think, how can this be
You don't really know me
I can't tell, this ain't the time
You'll never be mine
What can I say, something 'bout my life
I just lost again
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love
Always have to move on,
To leave it all behind
Go along with time
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love
~~~Lene Marlin~~~
That's what I wanna hear
That is what, what makes me happy
Hoping you'll be near
All this time, how could I know
Within these walls, I can feel you
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love
You must think, how can this be
You don't really know me
I can't tell, this ain't the time
You'll never be mine
What can I say, something 'bout my life
I just lost again
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love
Always have to move on,
To leave it all behind
Go along with time
Another day goes by, will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now, and I, can say it's gone
That would be a lie
Cannot control this, this thing called love
~~~Lene Marlin~~~
22.7.09
disappear
Everything has just gone so wrong,
and I am not in the mood to say anything.
Ming disappeared for quite some times but she is up now,
it's my turn,
I am gonna disappear for awhile.
Do not try to bug/ping me.
and I am not in the mood to say anything.
Ming disappeared for quite some times but she is up now,
it's my turn,
I am gonna disappear for awhile.
Do not try to bug/ping me.
15.7.09
heart breaking kid
This is not the first time I suspect he is using me,
but I chose to believe that he is not.
Quite some numbers of evidences showed that he tried to use me,
whether he succeeded or not,
that depends on how he views me.
You know,
keep realising that he is being nice to me because he is trying to use me is so heart breaking,
but it helps me to let go everything.
In addition of what I wrote in my previous post,
you understand that I am so gonna be satu orang oriented.
I just can't trust others anymore!
but I chose to believe that he is not.
Quite some numbers of evidences showed that he tried to use me,
whether he succeeded or not,
that depends on how he views me.
You know,
keep realising that he is being nice to me because he is trying to use me is so heart breaking,
but it helps me to let go everything.
In addition of what I wrote in my previous post,
you understand that I am so gonna be satu orang oriented.
I just can't trust others anymore!
14.7.09
电视里的爱情
你知道我是个看电视长大的小孩，
我的娱乐就是看电视，
而且可以连续很多个小时马拉松式的看电视。
而看太多电视所产生的“后遗症”是什么呢？
就是把自己融入到戏剧里的角色当中。
香港的电视剧一定都会有爱情的元素为基础（不然观众又怎么会受落咧），
有些的爱情桥断就好像童话般的美好，
两人从此以后过着幸福快乐的生活。
也有部分的爱情桥断时灰灰的，
让你的心情也荡到谷底。
对我而言，
美好的爱情桥断太不真实，
现实中又怎会有那么多童话般的结局？
至于灰色的爱情桥断反而显得比较真实，
有一种让我觉得“这就是人生”的感觉。
灰色的爱情难免总会影响我的观念，
本来存有一丝希望，
会认为是我搞错了。
但在电视桥断里看见了不尽相同故事，
开始便会认为那就是事实，
对于爱情也更加悲观，
而我自然也开始失去了信心和憧憬，
只有孤独终老，无伴一身。
我的娱乐就是看电视，
而且可以连续很多个小时马拉松式的看电视。
而看太多电视所产生的“后遗症”是什么呢？
就是把自己融入到戏剧里的角色当中。
香港的电视剧一定都会有爱情的元素为基础（不然观众又怎么会受落咧），
有些的爱情桥断就好像童话般的美好，
两人从此以后过着幸福快乐的生活。
也有部分的爱情桥断时灰灰的，
让你的心情也荡到谷底。
对我而言，
美好的爱情桥断太不真实，
现实中又怎会有那么多童话般的结局？
至于灰色的爱情桥断反而显得比较真实，
有一种让我觉得“这就是人生”的感觉。
灰色的爱情难免总会影响我的观念，
本来存有一丝希望，
会认为是我搞错了。
但在电视桥断里看见了不尽相同故事，
开始便会认为那就是事实，
对于爱情也更加悲观，
而我自然也开始失去了信心和憧憬，
只有孤独终老，无伴一身。
13.7.09
not just a piece of shit
Somehow I am getting annoyed by this job,
the problems are long existing but nothing is solved,
people tried to solve it every now and then,
but it is just too reluctant for those highest too look into it.
They are aware of the problems,
but they are not solving it,
they just think that it is problem with those particular individuals who raised the problems up,
and they never take the problems seriously,
or should I say,
they never think there are problems.
They don't understand how those problems are affecting their workers,
and they think everyone else is dumb that would only listen to them.
You might be smart, but we are not stupid as well,
you think you are taking advantage of others?
you think we don't know what you are doing?
Come on!
We are not dumb!
We are not retarded!
I wanted to be nice,
not anymore.
I will treat you the same way as how you do!
Another 3 months to go,
gosh!
the problems are long existing but nothing is solved,
people tried to solve it every now and then,
but it is just too reluctant for those highest too look into it.
They are aware of the problems,
but they are not solving it,
they just think that it is problem with those particular individuals who raised the problems up,
and they never take the problems seriously,
or should I say,
they never think there are problems.
They don't understand how those problems are affecting their workers,
and they think everyone else is dumb that would only listen to them.
You might be smart, but we are not stupid as well,
you think you are taking advantage of others?
you think we don't know what you are doing?
Come on!
We are not dumb!
We are not retarded!
I wanted to be nice,
not anymore.
I will treat you the same way as how you do!
Another 3 months to go,
gosh!
10.7.09
Transformer
I am not a big fan of Transformer since young,
but so happened my COO is so willing to treat us for a movie,
why not?
especially on a Friday night when I eager to escape from jam,
going to KLCC for a movie after work is a good choice.
However,
I was not right,
the later I leave the office on Friday night,
the more jam it is.
I spent 30 minutes to arrive in KLCC for a normal 5 minutes ride!
How silly and crazy!
We then had dinner in Madam Kwan's (25 minutes for dinner only),
we were even late for the movie!
One thing I don't like to watch this kind of movie is that there will be many kids in the cinema,
and the kids will be very annoying,
any scenes can be happened.
Crying to go toilet, asking questions about the movie, moving here and there, running here and there, coughing (I can't believe that parents brought their kids out to spread the virus) ... etc...
So tiring for watching a movie,
you just can't concentrate but annoyed by all these scenes happened in the cinema!
That's reasons why I hate kids,
there's reasons for everything.
This is not a relaxing Friday,
in fact I have got many of my Friday nights ruined,
and I am so sick about all this,
but I am ending this.
Although not so soon,
I am ending it.
Hopefully my next destination will not be this bad.
but so happened my COO is so willing to treat us for a movie,
why not?
especially on a Friday night when I eager to escape from jam,
going to KLCC for a movie after work is a good choice.
However,
I was not right,
the later I leave the office on Friday night,
the more jam it is.
I spent 30 minutes to arrive in KLCC for a normal 5 minutes ride!
How silly and crazy!
We then had dinner in Madam Kwan's (25 minutes for dinner only),
we were even late for the movie!
One thing I don't like to watch this kind of movie is that there will be many kids in the cinema,
and the kids will be very annoying,
any scenes can be happened.
Crying to go toilet, asking questions about the movie, moving here and there, running here and there, coughing (I can't believe that parents brought their kids out to spread the virus) ... etc...
So tiring for watching a movie,
you just can't concentrate but annoyed by all these scenes happened in the cinema!
That's reasons why I hate kids,
there's reasons for everything.
This is not a relaxing Friday,
in fact I have got many of my Friday nights ruined,
and I am so sick about all this,
but I am ending this.
Although not so soon,
I am ending it.
Hopefully my next destination will not be this bad.
9.7.09
tears
Tears could be one of the best weapons when you are mad,
especially for people who are tough,
tears may help them by telling the world "hey, tough guys can be weak sometimes!"
However,
if we over used tears,
it might bring negative affects as well.
In order to make tears one of the best weapons in the world,
we have to use it carefully,
that said,
burst into tears when necessary but not using it every once in awhile showing people that tears can help solving problems.
Tears is also good for relieving,
sometimes you just can't help crying,
and it actually helps you in releasing yourself even though nothing is done after crying.
At least,
you expressed yourself through crying,
and you feel better after crying.
I am not a person who may burst into tears easily,
but once I do,
it must be something impactful.
And I won't simply use my tears as weapon,
the most powerful weapon appears only once in a blue moon,
and once it appears,
it is impactful!
You don't hope to see me with tears!
especially for people who are tough,
tears may help them by telling the world "hey, tough guys can be weak sometimes!"
However,
if we over used tears,
it might bring negative affects as well.
In order to make tears one of the best weapons in the world,
we have to use it carefully,
that said,
burst into tears when necessary but not using it every once in awhile showing people that tears can help solving problems.
Tears is also good for relieving,
sometimes you just can't help crying,
and it actually helps you in releasing yourself even though nothing is done after crying.
At least,
you expressed yourself through crying,
and you feel better after crying.
I am not a person who may burst into tears easily,
but once I do,
it must be something impactful.
And I won't simply use my tears as weapon,
the most powerful weapon appears only once in a blue moon,
and once it appears,
it is impactful!
You don't hope to see me with tears!
7.7.09
愛情的十八張臉
今年四月，在西安師範大學的演講會上，一個男生問我：
「你寫了那麼多關於愛情的，又看得那麼透徹，沒見到你之前，我有時會想，你會不會也許根本沒談過戀愛，只是紙上談兵？」
我笑笑說：
「你現在看到我了，你覺得我像不像沒談過戀愛？」
「不像。」那個男生微笑回答。
假如你談過的戀愛已經讓你嚐到了愛情所有的滋味，讓你在希望和失望，幸福和挫敗，甜蜜與心碎，相聚與離別，愛與恨中流轉又流轉，輪迴又輪迴，那麼，一段是已經勝過很多段 。
沒有人真正能夠把愛情看得透徹。如果愛情是有十八張臉的，我們看到的也許永遠只是最上面的那幾張臉。重要的不是你戀愛過多少次，而是你跟誰戀愛，你愛的那個人有沒有讓你懂得更多？ 重要的不是你戀愛過多少次，而是你是個什麼人，你在愛情裡學懂了多少？
有些女孩子不斷戀愛，身邊從來不缺男朋友，可她們並不見得知道怎樣把她們的故事寫出來。那就好比有一次，我跟幾位前輩聊天，其中一人說：
「作家都是很孤獨的。」
我笑著說：
「但是，有很多人很孤獨，卻寫不出東西來。」
一個女人到底談過幾次戀愛，愛過什麼人，就像她擁有多少顆漂亮的鑽石，這些事情可以跟閨蜜分享，卻不必張揚。
6th July 2009, 小娴部落
「你寫了那麼多關於愛情的，又看得那麼透徹，沒見到你之前，我有時會想，你會不會也許根本沒談過戀愛，只是紙上談兵？」
我笑笑說：
「你現在看到我了，你覺得我像不像沒談過戀愛？」
「不像。」那個男生微笑回答。
假如你談過的戀愛已經讓你嚐到了愛情所有的滋味，讓你在希望和失望，幸福和挫敗，甜蜜與心碎，相聚與離別，愛與恨中流轉又流轉，輪迴又輪迴，那麼，一段是已經勝過很多段 。
沒有人真正能夠把愛情看得透徹。如果愛情是有十八張臉的，我們看到的也許永遠只是最上面的那幾張臉。重要的不是你戀愛過多少次，而是你跟誰戀愛，你愛的那個人有沒有讓你懂得更多？ 重要的不是你戀愛過多少次，而是你是個什麼人，你在愛情裡學懂了多少？
有些女孩子不斷戀愛，身邊從來不缺男朋友，可她們並不見得知道怎樣把她們的故事寫出來。那就好比有一次，我跟幾位前輩聊天，其中一人說：
「作家都是很孤獨的。」
我笑著說：
「但是，有很多人很孤獨，卻寫不出東西來。」
一個女人到底談過幾次戀愛，愛過什麼人，就像她擁有多少顆漂亮的鑽石，這些事情可以跟閨蜜分享，卻不必張揚。
6th July 2009, 小娴部落
6.7.09
剩下的
忙碌的日子总是过的特别快，
上星期赶着把chart弄好send给client,
所以时间总是过的太快，
一眨眼就到了周末。
周末总是令我懒洋洋的，
什么都不想做，
只想瘫在家里，
什么都不管，
什么都不理。
想象自己消失个几天，
大家都找不到我的悠闲时光。
就这样，
我又来到了星期一，
明天就是星期二了，
然后星期三，
然后过着过着，
我变会骤然发问，
我为自己的岁月留下了些什么？
上星期赶着把chart弄好send给client,
所以时间总是过的太快，
一眨眼就到了周末。
周末总是令我懒洋洋的，
什么都不想做，
只想瘫在家里，
什么都不管，
什么都不理。
想象自己消失个几天，
大家都找不到我的悠闲时光。
就这样，
我又来到了星期一，
明天就是星期二了，
然后星期三，
然后过着过着，
我变会骤然发问，
我为自己的岁月留下了些什么？
1.7.09
Resignation
I finalised my decision yesterday to have my resignation letter sent to my boss,
his reply was just two words "very sad..".
There are people questionning me about my decision,
I didn't want to explain much,
I made my decision after determinations,
and I am an adult to make a decision for myself,
do you think I need no courage to take this step?
there's no turning back once decision is made!
It is understandable if my family or anyone of the 7 Prosperities doubt me,
and I would explain everything to them.
But,
my parents let me make my own decision since young,
they know that I am mature enough to make my own decision.
In fact,
I never doubt decisions that I have made so far,
so why should you?
you don't know me,
and it's my decision,
what has it to do with you that you are doubting it?
I will be free after 30th September 2009.
Start looking for jobs already.
his reply was just two words "very sad..".
There are people questionning me about my decision,
I didn't want to explain much,
I made my decision after determinations,
and I am an adult to make a decision for myself,
do you think I need no courage to take this step?
there's no turning back once decision is made!
It is understandable if my family or anyone of the 7 Prosperities doubt me,
and I would explain everything to them.
But,
my parents let me make my own decision since young,
they know that I am mature enough to make my own decision.
In fact,
I never doubt decisions that I have made so far,
so why should you?
you don't know me,
and it's my decision,
what has it to do with you that you are doubting it?
I will be free after 30th September 2009.
Start looking for jobs already.
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