明天

看来最近身边的朋友都在为某些事情烦着，
难为我还要一把眼泪一把鼻涕去一一安慰。
不过我也是自愿的，
谁叫你们是我的朋友。
纵使自己没有心情，
还是会咬紧牙关，
帮朋友也帮自己撑过去。

昨晚就看着他在我的MSN list 发呆，
然后来了两个搅局的家伙，
一个跟我一样一把眼泪一把鼻涕，
一个无聊得发疯说：“要不然我们结婚去！”
后来我受不了看着MSN list发呆的煎熬，
纵使睡不着，
我也赶快关了电脑躺在床上，
然后翻来覆去。
结果今天起床后，
还是好汉一条！
反正睡醒过后又是另一天！

what hurts the most?

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do


This song released at least 4-5 years ago,
I didn't find it nice,
I didn't like it,
and I deleted it from my playlist.
Then couple weeks ago,
Danny Gokey performed this song in American Idol,
it was the only song that touched me throughout the entire episode,
and his voice just touched me deeply once his open his mouth having the first word of the lyrics sung.
I must say,
Danny sings better!


I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

睡不着

张小娴的书有一个好处，
就是你在不同的时期或阶段阅读，
必定会有新的领悟和发现。
今天重看张小娴的其中一本散文精选，
内容提及如何测试到底一个男人喜不喜欢你。
先声明：DISCLAIMER:
此方法乃置之死地而后生之计，
TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK!

在一个夜黑风高的晚上，
半夜三点，
打电话给他把他吵醒说：“我睡不着啊，来谈天一下。”
如果他说：“你发什么神经？！”
那表示他对你没感觉。

如果他马上精神抖擞的说：“我也睡不着啊，你想谈什么？”
酱他不可能对你没感觉吧？
总之，
开场白越无聊越好，
就是要在他熟睡的时候把他吵醒。

我今晚要不要试一下？

一万个为什么

我对你这一生哪个可比
我与你差一些永远一起
邂逅时间场地似连场好戏
要自何页说起
爱太重深呼吸欠缺空气
爱太美轻轻的却载不起
爱情来到时候似明媚天气
它走了突然骤变雪落雨飞
如果可以恨你全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲
前事最怕有人提起
就算怎么伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离
你太远该怎么说对不起
你太近一转身却已高飞
快乐也许太短似场流星雨
一眨眼就如幻觉怕又记起
我情愿我狠心憎你
我还在记忆中找你

林峰 - 爱在记忆中找你


我不够认份 所以怕再为谁作出牺牲
爱要有天份 所以我始终学不会放任
我不够天真 不允许我傻傻的等
对自己残忍 多残忍 我要有分寸
我太过认真 所以才相信所谓的永恒
爱让人恍神 所以止不住不小心沉沦
我太负责任 不允许有太多悔恨
对自己坦诚 多坦诚 我自有分寸
无辜的人 很需要叹气声
我只是无辜的人 很需要叹气声
有一些文字的吻 只留给伤过的人
明知道有些问题 没有答案还是要问
原谅我 因为我就是 这样的
原谅我 因为我就是 这样的女生
这样的女生
这样的女生
原谅我就是 这样的女生

戴佩妮 - 原谅我就是这样的女生

偷心贼

他说：“我的心被偷了！”
我赶紧sms PK和佩。
幸亏约了她们一起吃晚餐，
可以乘晚餐的机会听听他们的意见。
那两个不甘寂寞的坏女人竟然叫我问他：“谁偷了你的心？是不是我咧？”
酱厚脸皮的话她们竟然说的出口！
她们又说：“你没有问就没有故事了。”
我告诉她们，
这招叫“以退为进”，
她们竟然说我不会“打蛇随棍上”，
这两个坏女人！
后来佩又说可能他也在气着为什么我不问他是谁偷走了他的心，
嘻嘻！
就是不要问他，
酱我不是赢了啰！

其实我也想过要问他的，
可是那时候是office hour咧，
想象一下在读着和reply e-mail的时候来谈到这个问题，
根本就不是一个right timing！

反正对于爱情我早已经采取不吊政策，
你偷了我的心还是我偷了你的心，
结果，
都会是一样。

习惯

“习惯”是很可怕的，
它会让你越陷越深！

我习惯了每天跟你聊上两句，
我习惯了跟你聊天的方式，
我习惯了你的无聊，
我习惯了陪你一起无聊，
我习惯了你的做息，
我习惯了我们相处下来的模式。

有没有可能我不是喜欢上你，
而是喜欢上了“习惯”？

默默

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了 谁让我变了
原本这是一个没有答案的问题
却被你解开了 简单的解开了

你走过来 带着和别人不同的对白
你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好

慢慢的 这份爱 悄悄的住下来
深深的 在心里 没人看的出来
安静的 但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的 这份爱 已经变成依赖
浅浅的 笑容里 却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白
你默默的爱

未来的每一天 不管发生什么
能不能交给我呢
我要永远陪着你 守护着你直到最后

慢慢的 这份爱 悄悄的住下来
深深的 在心里 没人看的出来
安静的 但却一直都在
是你默默的爱

慢慢的 这份爱 已经变成依赖
浅浅的 笑容里 却让我充满期待
不用说 我就能够明白
你默默的爱

说真的，
飞轮海的唱功我真的不敢恭维。
但这是他给我默默的爱！

走

之前的记忆都是苦涩的，
无论K做了什么令我开心的事，
我的记忆终究是被所有不开心的事所占据。
现在的记忆是开心的，
无论D做了什么令我伤心的事，
我的记忆终究是被所有开心的事所占据，
根本不会在意他所做的那一丁点令我不开心的事。

照理来说，
我是不是应该会喜欢D多一点呢？
错！
我很清楚知道对D的那种感觉就是有那么一点点的不一样。
对于K，
无论我伤得多么厉害，
我还是会像飞蛾扑火一样不顾一切的勇往直前。
对于D，
虽然他很贴心，
虽然很快乐，
我就是踩着刹车不让自己往前冲。

跌倒过才会明白怎样保护自己，
不让自己再在原地跌倒。
对于爱情，
我们有时候还是会冲昏了头，
还是会在同一个地方跌倒，
但受伤的程度可能就不至于那么严重，
因为我们已经知道如何调整自己，
在跌下去的时候把受伤的程度减至最低。
于是乎，
对于D的情感，
好像就那么少了一点点。
我好像变的很冷静的冷眼旁观，
装着一副不在乎的样子。
虽然也有“sin Q”的时候，
但也不至于重伤，
甚至可以说是“毫发无损”。
虽然一直都在避免再摔跤，
但学走的小孩有谁不跌到？
只要多加练习就可以稳健的起步走了。

怎么忽然之间我好像不怎么怕受伤了？！

moved on

I kinda like have forgotten quite a lot of things between me and K,
not to say forgotten but more like suppressed memories.
You know when you get so hurt and you so want to forget about everything,
you tend to suppress your memory like you are having memory loss,
everything is just blank.
Somehow,
a simple keyword may evoke your suppressed memory,
a specific keyword for a specific memory.
I try to forget,
or more specifically,
not to remember anything between me and K.
I don't remember anything but how I felt,
I just don't remember those specific incidents that link me to the way I feel.
Every once in awhile some keywords to open my memory just pop up in my conversation with friends,
I would think it is a sign of something between me and K,
not now anymore.
I only rewind those memories in my mind once like "ah, that was what happened last time."
I then just ignore it.

I am happy with this,
at least it shows that I have slowly moved on,
move forward without looking back.

Someone who walked into my life and passed by.

净土

A friend of mine tell me to go back to Adelaide on Facebook (commented on my status about not feeling happy),
his words are like a sudden light that lights me up,
"oh yes, why didn't I think about it?!"
I always remember how good Adelaide is,
I definitely would like to stay there again if there's chance.
As I am bombarded by my work load recently,
I don't really think about Adelaide anymore.
I am not a person that always look back,
I believe in "the past bring you to the present that you are living",
so I always look forward,
and this might be one of the reason why I don't really think about Adelaide anymore.
Then I look back at those pictures that I took in Adelaide,
memories just fade in very quickly and my tears are almost bursting!
This is not about I miss Adelaide or not but it is about my memories in Adelaide,
a place that walks me to where I am today,
a place of joy,
a place that grows me up.

一个让我安心的净土！

fall to pieces

Feelings deep inside my heart are just too complex,
they are pieces a little here and there,
and I don't know how to make them all in connection to tell a story.
My thoughts are there,
I am ready to tell,
but I just can't make a simple sentence to tell you the story.
Somehow it's like something missing here or there,
but when I am trying to find those missing's pieces,
I realise that they are actually here all the time!

This is something very abstract to explain or tell in words.
One thing I can assure is that,
you love,
that's why you care,
and it just will makes you mad that you don't know who you are anymore.

I am kinda like lost,
am I deeply in love?

我喜夯你！

我每天早上起床都会觉得“其实我并没有很喜欢你。”
“嗯！对！不喜欢你了！”
可是一到了office情况就开始改变了，
“我好像真的有那么一点点喜欢你咧。”
这到底是为什么？

Timing

在想，
如果有一天，
我不再喜欢你了，
但你却喜欢上我了，
怎么办？
没有的办，
如果这时命运的安排，
我唯有接受。
“timing” 常常都是爱情里很重要的元素之一，
真心相爱又怎样？
相遇在不对的timing，
你我也只能行同陌路人。

我唯有希望，
你现在不喜欢我，
将来也不会喜欢我。
（这样我会好过一点）

今天只做一件事

发觉这世界永远太少空间
因此花一天支配一切时间
发觉这世界永远太晒心机
因此花一天思索一切道理

消失太快 捉得到太少
因此花一天感觉一切是爱
茫茫人海 或有几多漂泊与淹盖
人人寻找爱 或有几多争斗与比赛
越觉得剩低几多未变的爱

慢慢地合作新诗 静静地同床午睡
再发现岁月换来几次厌闷几多亲爱
有各样劫灾 和充满意外
因此我要努力继续能恋爱

慢慢地迈向听朝 静静地怀念昨日
再决定今天只要相信爱
叫皱纹散开 唤青春归来
因此我喜欢花一天感觉一切是爱

发觉这世界永远太少深刻
因此花一天改变一切习惯
发觉这世界永远太多跷蹊
因此花一天拥有一切运气

消失太快 捉得到太少
因此花一天感觉一切是爱
茫茫人海 或有几多漂泊与淹盖
人人寻找爱 或有几多争斗与比赛
越觉得剩低几多未变的爱

慢慢地合唱K歌 静静地同游网上
再发现岁月换来几次厌闷几多亲爱
有各样劫灾 和充满意外
因此我要努力继续能恋爱

慢慢地迈向听朝 静静地怀念昨日
再决定今天只要相信爱
叫皱纹散开 唤青春归来
因此我喜欢花一天感觉一切是爱

喜欢花一天跟你一切是爱

你也难怪我这么喜欢陈奕迅，
歌声+歌的旋律=满足！
这首歌的旋律真的很舒服，
听了很让人放松，
很适合最近有点紧绷的我。
心灵上的安慰原来就是这么一回事！

好想每天都说：“今天只做一件事”！
睡觉是也！

love with the 7 prosperities

Have been working on night shift for a few nights,
still need some times to adapt.
My world is basically at peace if nothing urgent or crazy come in,
otherwise you will be seeing me working like mad in front of 2 laptops.
Staying up late for work,
waking up early for meetings,
my days have not have gone any easy,
and sometimes,
it is rather stressful.
But when I log on to facebook,
see all the posts and comments posted by you all,
I can just simply laugh out loud.
You know friends just don't have to be sticking with each other every single day,
knowing how and what you all are doing is just enough for me.
And sometimes,
a small little joke in facebook.
It is great to have you all there!
It's like what I have always been telling Ming,
thanks for talking crap to me!

Love ya'all!

24/7 working hours

Beck's new working hours:
11am-5.30pm (in the office)
11pm-1am (offical working hours, vary depending on related situation).

So when you see me online at night don't simply come and kacau me,
I am WORKING!

情歌

时光是琥珀 泪一滴滴被反锁
情书再不朽 也磨成沙漏
青春的上游 白云飞走苍狗与海鸥
闪过的念头 潺潺的溜走
命运好幽默 让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙 换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽 寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头 反而更自由
慢动作 缱绻胶卷 重播默片 定格一瞬间
我们在 告别的演唱会 说好不再见
你写给我 我的第一首歌
你和我 十指紧扣 默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有 我这一首情歌
轻轻的 轻轻哼着 哭着笑着
我的 天长地久

今天很开心的边驾车回家边哼着这首歌，
嘴角微微上扬隐藏不住笑意。
嗯，
想起他的时候真是美好！

complimentary

PK asked "why don't you want to involve in a marriage?"
Well,
quite a number of factors make up answer for this.
She didn't seem to agree with me,
we just have different point of view.
We don't share exactly same experiences,
and as experiences make up who you are,
you will just have different point of view from me regarding the question of marriage.
To you,
marriage might be A,
but to me,
marriage is just B.
We will just view it from different angles.

As I walk my journey to this far,
relationship has somehow become complimentary.
It will be real great to have it,
but I won't be dying for it.
It is just something that would enlighten my life,
but my life won't be in a total darkness without having it.

It is complimentary and I won't die because of not having it!

老男人

二十歲的女生愛上一個三十歲或者再大一點的男人，喜歡的不一定是他的財富地位，而是他的成熟。對於早熟的女生來說，那些跟她同齡的男生都好像還沒斷奶似的。她沒法愛上一個思想比她幼稚的男人。她喜歡的是一個有過去的男人，這個男人會為她打開人生的另一扇窗口，教給她許多她不懂的事情。

截自“小嫻部落” 06052009

现在你知道我为什么从以前一直都喜欢“老男人”。

恍然大悟

思念就跟愛情一樣，是會耗盡的。頭一個星期，我很想你。第二個星期，我更想你。又一個星期過去了，我想你想得好苦，恨不得馬上奔跑到你身邊。然而，到了第四個星期，我發現我沒那麼想你了。不是不愛你，而是我知道，這樣的想念是沒有歸途的。日復一日，我再怎麼想你，還是見不著你，摸不到你，只是用思念來苦苦折磨自己。我得過自己的生活。

截自“小嫻部落” 04052009

不怪得去了几天旅行回来后，
我赫然发现，
其实根本好像没那么喜欢他！
看来我还得好好的加把劲儿。