Adelaide

I saw a policeman riding on a bike while I was on my way to office this morning,
the policeman reminds me about what I told D last Friday about how muscular and tall fire fighters are in Adelaide.
My memories then flew back to about 2 years ago.

30th June 2007:
I was packing my luggage, about to say goodbye to everyone.

30th June 2008:
I was studying for my final exams, and waiting for the day for a family reunion in Adelaide.

Time passes really fast,
I was doing what I stated above,
and I am now working already.
The pasts brought me to the present!

I can still remember hearing the noise of rubbish "rolling down",
I can still remember hearing the noise of tram passing by,
I can still remember stop 20 in Magill.
All memories are just so great!
They make me smile,
they make me feel warm.
It is just the nicest place in the world,
but sad to say,
I just don't belong there!
My home is here,
and Adelaide is a place where I can stay when my home is no longer a sweet home.
(Somehow I just hope that I won't stay in Adelaide!)

一念之间

我从来不敢穿你送的那件毛衣
只敢欺骗自己
冬天比较快过去
所以来不及穿你

我从来不敢打开装满你的抽屉
只敢反锁自己
任日子一天天过去
所以忘记打开你

月半弯伴着每对恋人拥抱背影
不想看却又把幸福都影在眼里
是羡慕还是妒忌
我不懂澄清

一念之间发现你的爱情竟然不见
这几年你留下的原来只有谎言
说得再美也无法沉淀
空洞得可怜

一念之间发现爱情竟然是种危险
这几夜我哭了好几遍
靠得再近也是种亏欠
我不是你随随便可以敷衍

我从来不敢打开装满你的抽屉
只敢反锁自己
任日子一天天过去
所以忘记打开你

月半弯伴着每对恋人拥抱背影
不想看却又把幸福都影在眼里
是羡慕还是妒忌
我不懂澄清

一念之间发现你的爱情竟然不见
这几年你留下的原来只有谎言
说得再美也无法沉淀
空洞得可怜

一念之间发现爱情竟然是种危险
这几夜我哭了好几遍
靠得再近也是种亏欠
我不是你随随便可以敷衍

一念之间发现你的爱情竟然不见
这几年你留下的原来只有谎言
说得再美也无法沉淀
空洞得可怜

一念之间发现爱情竟然是种危险
这几夜我哭了好几遍
靠得再近也是种亏欠
我不是你随随便可以敷衍


为什么戴佩妮可以写出这么真实，触动人心的歌词？！
我真的有一件不敢穿的衣服，
也有一个不敢打开的抽屉。
虽然我把爱情影在眼里，
却又忘不了爱情是危险的谎言！
究竟一个人要经历过什么事情才能写出这样的一首歌？

faith

Everything is back on track,
I am slowly handling and manipulating,
everything will be back to normal soon.
The only thing I need to worry is to get myself a new start,
on everything.
Faith!

loner

You know working life is just too tiring that you won't want to bother anything else!
I realised there are some issues going on out there,
and I better keep my eyes on it,
but I just can't be bothered!
I tried to figure out a balance on this,
but I just can't be bothered.
Sometimes I feel so guity and I start interfering on those issues that I should be taking care of,
and amazingly,
my interference actually did help to turn those issues out a little bit better.
I know I should be helping more,
but,
can I be left alone?
I just need some times for myself,
some times that I can do whatever I want to.

I am just so used to staying my life alone without having any others.

你是谁？

发现我和他其实也有不同的地方，
而这不同之处却也是我最介意的事情之一。
我好像又没有那么的喜欢他了，
看来不用等到5/11/2009！

chapter x

I actually realised that I don't belong to this position and this company on my second day of work,
as I was a fresh graduate and I didn't know what to expect (I am still learning on what to expect even until today),
I persuaded myself to give it a try,
I then work on this postion in this company till now.
I ocassionally think of quiting throughout the past few months,
and each time when I have this thought on my mind,
some changes will just occur in the office and I again persuaded myself to stay.
As I walk myself to where I am today,
I believe that my thoughts should be converted into reality.
I actually have a plan in mind and I am working on it to turn my plan truth,
I just can't be bothered by anything else as I am so fed up with everything,
it's time for an end.
(and I am sure ending is not always a sad one!)

Drinker

I drink coffee occasionally all this while,
I am not a super fan of coffee that I will need to drink at least 1 cup of coffee per day,
I drink it only when I want to.
This phenomenon has changed since the day I started working,
I still drink coffee when I want to and I limit myself to only 1 cup of coffee per day,
the changes is that the frequency of drinking coffee has been significantly increased.
I might drink coffee once a month last time,
but I drink coffee at least once a week now.
Not that I have become a fan of coffee (or what so ever),
but making myself a cup of coffee has become something I will do automatically.
I have greater urge in drinking coffee and I will just walk myself to the pantry for coffee.
Still,
I can't take the bitterness of coffee,
and bitterness of coffee is always the reason why I can't be a fan of it.
Then why am I drinking coffee?
Why do I have increase frequency of drinking coffee?
The answers might probably be the same as smokers,
some sort of unconscious addiction that we can't seem to get rid of it.

也许这就是人生

偶尔忙了一整天，抑或浑浑噩噩的过了一整天，回家时经过面包店，看着橱窗上的蛋糕，你突然想起，原来今天是曾经身边那一位的生日。

嗯。

曾经这一天，费尽心思。虽不是自己的，但这一天跟自己的生日一样重要。要穿什么样的衣服，配什么样的鞋子包包；要在那家餐厅吃饭，蛋糕要不要事先放到餐厅厨房里，待会儿礼物要在哪个时间点拿出来，什么时候该给他生日之吻，希望他的生日愿望有你。。。
费尽心思。

“啊~” 你感叹。曾经是那么重要的日子，今天却是那么轻易的就度过了。

曾经那个人对你来说是多重要，
他的生日，现在却只有在恍然间才记得。

然后，你嘴角浅笑。
。。 。

也许，
这就是人生。

By Memolynn on 16th June 2009


今天是K的生日！
很多年前已经不再关我的事。
曾经 一直紧记着他的生日，
倒数，
犹豫要不要sms祝福他，
后来觉得一切都是多余的。
就连我的生日收到他的sms我也会一笑置之，
这一切真的变得很多余了！
很想问说：“你还在乎吗？你在乎什么？都已经不管你的事了！”
反正彼此都是彼此的故人了，
who cares?!

不托不欠

欠了別人的人情，總有一天是要還的吧？天底下沒有免費午餐，只是，人有時會一廂情願，或者心存僥倖，天真過了頭，以為大大小小的人情債沒有需要償還的一天。

你欠的人情有多大，你要還的人情也就有多大。

我不喜歡欠人家人情。深情我欠得起，人情倒是我欠不起的，要欠我寧願欠感情的債。

世上有那麼多的人，誰要你偏偏愛上我？如果是命中注定，這筆債倒不是我欠你，說不定是你前世欠了我呢。前世你是我放生的白狐，今世你在我腳邊廝磨，難得今生可以再見到我，來向我報恩，你該感謝我為你圓夢才是啊。

就算不相信前世今生，愛情又何曾公平？

有些女人埋怨男人耗掉她的青春，話不能這麼說，男人的青春也是青春，保養得不好的男人例外。

愛情永遠沒法衡量誰賺了誰又虧了，兩個人為什麼要恨恨地數傷口，然後說：「我有六十二個傷口，但你只得五十七個！」，相愛的那個過程，你也是享受過的吧？

有一天，緣盡了，不要去計算誰欠了誰。都是自願的，憑什麼說：「如果不是你，我會比現在幸福，會比現在過得好！」這些苦澀而沒意義的話？如果不是我，你也有可能是一片空白。

江湖再見的那日，別問是緣還是債。情本來就是債，只是，我們往往要等到情盡的那天才恍然。

深情我欠得起
Jun 17th, 2009 by 張小嫻

不管是什么情，
我都希望不会被欠，
尤其是爱情！
我对我的爱情有洁癖，
有太多的事情是我所不能够容忍的，
我甚至会吹毛求疵，
鸡蛋里挑骨头！
这也就是为什么我是satu orang oriented。

五马分尸

Went for a yoga session this evening,
it was a great experience,
but a little tough for me.
Anyway,
I just want to get myself sweating and burning fats,
the progress is not as important as the outcome.

I wanted to make myself doing this at least twice a week,
but this very first class has somehow terrified me a little bit,
shall just go to another class and see how everything goes,
hopefully I will have enough persistence in working this out.

五马分尸!

soul out

Food + manicure + signed up for yoga classes = spending money

I thought by doing so I would feel a little happier,
not at all actually!
Yes I am happy at the moment when I am doing all the listed activities,
but when I stop,
I feel so empty.

Nothing was solved, and everything's mattered!

Proud

He was shocked and stunned when he saw me.
I am not sure whether I interpreted his facial expression correctly,
I guess it's either he feels shock to see me or he was shocked by hearing my greetings,
but I nodded my head to him before he could react and quickly turn my sight away to greeting others.
I'm gonna give myself a big applause!
he is nothing to me anymore!
I did not have any interactions with him,
it's just pointless!

I am so proud of myself for being able to walk out from the mist!

金睛火眼 @_@

I have been working under high pressure and tension ever since my ex-manager leave the company,
I am both mentally and physically tired everyday.
I wake up everyday with my works start running in my head,
I go to bed everyday with my works continue running in my head too!
Basically,
except for my lunch and dinner time,
and also TV time after dinner,
I am staring at the computer doing work.

Is this common for working adults?

如火如荼

友人说：“你不可能在11/5/2009之前忘记他！”
我不以为然，
我坚决相信我要做的一定办得到！
过后仔细想想，
友人的话并不是没有道理。
我每天跟D接触，
每一天好像都会发现那么一点他的好，
每一天都会不小心的沉沦，
我又怎么可能用5个月来忘记？
其实之前为自己定下5个月的期限是有原因的，
因为到时将会是我离开跟他朝夕相对的场合的一个月后。
暌违一个月后，
我想我应该不会对他再有任何“非分之想”吧？！
应该不会了。

5个月计划如期进行，
现在应该如火如荼的展开！

原谅我就是这样的女生

我说：“男人不坏女人不爱！”
他答：“am I bad then?”

难怪我一直止不住不小心沉沦！
抑或是其实有太多的时候，
我只是一厢情愿的以为现实是我所想像的那样？
我只想要在他心中占有那么一点位置啊！

不爱了

I stand right in front of you,
and I am smiling at you,
telling you that "yes, I don't love you!" with bleeding heart inside.

Great!
By doing this I have achieved another higher grade in my life,
含笑说不爱！
不然为什么张小娴写到“世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死，而是我就站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你！”

You must have had a broken heart

The way you say the things you do
The softness of the words you choose
The times that you can read my mind
And take my worries out of sight

Your fingers touching on my lips
And say a kiss is still a kiss
And when you look at me I see
I see the pain that you had to feel

You must've had a broken heart, to love me the way do
Must've been so torn apart, I can see it when I look at you
All the meaning that is in your eyes, the love you give will never die
And I knew right from the start, you must've had a broken heart

You seem to have that certain smile
I can't forget after a while
The day you walked into the room
At once I knew the hurt that you'd been through

Sometimes when its late at night and I see your face in the fire light
Showing all the love you have for me, well I love you as much

Sometimes, sometimes
Must've had a broken heart
All the meaning that is in your eyes, the love u give will never die
And I knew right from the start, you must've had a broken heart
Sometimes.....


Yes I had a broken heart!

rose

“烈火雄心”里王喜和李珊珊是笔友，
彼此无话不说，
而王喜更因此而喜欢上了李珊珊。
后来两人终于见面了，
发展成为情侣，
最后却赫然发现，
两人似乎比较适合当笔友。
只有通过文字，
他们才能真正的畅所欲言。

或许我跟他就是“烈火雄心”里的王喜和李珊珊，
只有在MSN我们才能无话不说，畅所欲言，
那才是我们习惯的相处模式。

我告诉自己，
这一次就用5个月！
5个月来放下一切。
05112009

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you its only seed

it's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance

it's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
ehat never learns to live

when the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong

just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snow
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring, becomes the rose

后续

他说了不相信远距离恋爱，
我自己也不太相信，
怎样说服别人？
他只需要一句不相信远距离恋爱，
我就知道我们可以bye bye了。

其实我也没有想象中伤心，
今天还是跟往常一样跟他有说有笑，
根本不觉得怎样。
我有些担心这个“很平静”的我，
究竟是不是真的这么放得开？
就连一丁点想哭的感觉都没有！

用了5年才找到他，
结果却发现找错人，
我不知道我还可以有多少个5年来找到对的人。

~~~爱神会悄悄的在你不留意的时候来敲你的门~~~
哈哈！
我不止一次敲了爱神的门，
却得不到回应。
我只怕当它终于找上我的时候，
我已经关上大门，
闲人免进！

我只是不甘心，
为什么？！
为什么我找的就是不对的？
天时，地利，人和，
上一个少了天时和人和，
这一次少了地利和人和，
反正每次就是少了那么一点点。

无言!

bye bye

He does not believe in long distance relationship,
and he used to have a chance to start a long distance relationship,
but he just didn't.

Conclusion: I just gonna say bye bye to him.

I think I can fall asleep easily tonight!

煎熬

煎熬！
我真的不知道还可以忍到什么时候！
告诉自己：“去睡吧！睡醒就会没事了！”
但躺在床上翻来覆去无法入睡。
脑海里有太多东西在processing，
停不下来。
脑不停的在想，
我无法入睡。
很乱，
一片杂乱！
想不要我的脑了，
是不是不要我的脑我就不会有烦恼？

我要结婚去！

上个星期五他去参加朋友的婚礼，
他是兄弟团之一。
今天听他“诉说”怎样被整，
让我笑他说：“讲到好像是你的婚礼酱。”
结果他说：“我觉得以后我结婚还是不要有婚礼好。”
然后我告诉他说：“我也没想过要有个婚礼。”
他答说：“酱我们两个结婚就不用有婚礼啰！”

你们到底发什么神经？
一个接一个的来跟我说一起结婚？！
好！
你不要给我敢敢死的跟你讲：“走，现在就去注册！”
我要结婚去！