Lost and not found

Have been quite busy recently,
but when I look back,
I really cannot think of what have I been busying with.
I guess it's due to having been surrounded by negative energy for quite some time,
and I haven't really sit down by myself and think about the next step.
This negative energy is so powerful that it's significantly affecting my thoughts,
and the thoughts are very powerful in swinging my mood.
Disappointment, disagreement, discontentment... etc.
I find no interest in anything,
and I just want to be by myself,
but when I am alone,
I don't feel secure as how I used to feel when I am in my own world.

I have always been wanting a change,
but I just have not been taking the big step to move forward.
I still find opportunities in the status quo,
and I just can't convince myself to move on.
I know the status quo is not the "ultimate opportunity" that I want,
I really won't die for this and I can't imagine seeing myself "stucking" in this until the end,
I gotta change it now before it's too late.

And I just can't take the step forward and move away,
why?
Am really losing myself.